Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Pregnant? Again?

I know it only borders on the concept of this blog, but I couldn't think of a better way to announce our exciting news.

Almost 11 weeks ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He is the joy of my life (along with my wonderful husband). I am so blessed to have been given him by God. He has provided me with love in a way that no other person possibly could. Unconditional love with simple expectations of being fed, loved, and changed (and he wouldn't even care about the being changed part).

The last week of July I started spotting. I was excited because I thought it meant that my body had returned to its normal "girly" rituals. I had cramped a few weeks before that and had been concerned that we had managed to get pregnant right after our postpartum check up.

But the spotting didn't result in anything. There was just a little and it lasted a couple days and then was gone. I also started getting nauseous every night at 11 pm. I knew that it could be because I was sick and have nothing to do with anything but I was afraid that it was more than that.

That Friday I was supposed to go in to have an MRI to check out my liver and make sure that it was okay. I had tested high on my enzyme levels. Being afraid that I was pregnant and worried about what the MRI would do to the fetus, I asked Aaron to pick me up a pregnancy test when he went to the store to get me some meds for my cold.

I was shaking when I took the first test. I didn't know what to think or expect. I couldn't even stay in the room while the time passed because I was too freaked out about it. I knew the line was pink before I returned to the bathroom. It was faint. Very faint. But checking the instructions it said that faint still meant positive. There was one more test in the box and I decided to take it in the morning.

I couldn't sleep. I stayed up and researched home pregnancy tests and whether it was even possible to get false positives and whether a faint line really meant that it was a positive. Everything told me that, yes, faint or not, I was pregnant. I couldn't wait much longer to take the other test, so after feeding S I went ahead and took the second one. Sure enough, it was positive as well!

The bottom one was the first one that I took. Notice how light it is.

I was really shaking at this point. I wanted to go wake Aaron up but knew this wasn't a good idea since he had to go to work the next day. So I let him sleep until his alarm went off and then I bombarded him with the news.

The next morning was Friday and the day of my MRI. I wasn't sure what they would want to do with me so I went ahead and showed up for my appointment. They, of course, couldn't do the MRI unless my OB/GYN says that the need for the MRI is more important than the possible risk to the fetus. 

Later that afternoon I went in to the clinic on base to have my blood tested and to make sure that I really was pregnant. Less than an hour later I got a call from the nurse confirming that it was positive. 

I've gotten a variety of negative comments from people. People who are shocked. People who think we are irresponsible because we did not use birth control. I won't get into my beliefs on here. That's not what this website is for. I don't need any of your negativity if you have any. Although it will be a challenge in many ways to have children that are 10 months apart (or so) I am grateful that God chose to bless us with another little one. There are people who are struggling to have one child and for some reason God has blessed us with another. It may not be my timing, and it may not be perfect, but God has a purpose and I am trusting that He will provide.


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